your room smells of hookers.
And success
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
