Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
