Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Boobs are out for the taking
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
its liver damage thursday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize