why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
