Where are you?
In a non slutty way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
