Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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