She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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