Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize