I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
