I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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