so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize