so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
