Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
