YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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