I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
