lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
