She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
