you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
