i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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