just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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