How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
