If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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