he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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