): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
