yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
