nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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