Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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