Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
