Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize