He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
