Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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