and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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