Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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