Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
