soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize