i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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