return my video game
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize