to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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