Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
