i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Girls should come with a carfax report
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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