dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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