Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just had sex on a roof
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize