at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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