dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
