i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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