I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
