I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
