Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
