I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
