with your own penis?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize