someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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