i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
