Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
