i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't deserve a penis
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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