Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
