I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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