hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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