I think my vagina is haunted
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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