Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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